Back in Gimmelschtump
by celebi4ever
Summary: We all know about Dr. Doofenshmirtz's backstories, right? Story focuses on young Heinz and will run through his early teenage years. Rated T for content. Warning: LOTS of child abuse. Ch 16 up!
1. Prologue

**Back in Gimmelschtump**

**Prologue- Dr. Doofenshmirtz's POV**

For me, the world has always been a cruel, lonely place. Nobody was ever kind to me. Instead, I was scoffed and laughed at. I was the class clown, the klutz, the kind of person everyone was too embarrassed to be around for long. At least now, I have Perry the Platypus, my nemesis, and Vanessa, my daughter. Those two, I'll admit, are the only ones that I truly care for.

The past 47 years of my life have dragged on by, each day filled with disappointments and shortcomings. Sometimes I even ask myself how I made it this far without giving up on life. But I'm persistent. I never give up when I have a goal.

And that goal is to get revenge on my stupid brother and take over the entire Tri-State Area. Someday, I'll show him and everyone else that I am not as worthless or as harmless as they think I am. Someday, I _will_ become the supreme leader of Danville. They will soon know all I that I have suffered through. Yes, making that a mandatory school subject will be one of my first priorities when I am leader.

I will show you all that I have endured throughout the years. You will soon feel my pain, my hardships, my unhappiness. You will soon learn why I had chosen the path of evil, and why I Ioathe Roger so much. You will soon see what I've had to face in my youth _back in Gimmelschtump._

* * *

**A/N-This isn't actually my first fanfic. However, it is my first one that I'm posting on this site. The inspiration for this came from watching Doof's backstories on the show and I figured I could write about those. Besides, I noticed there were only oneshots of his childhood and no multi-chapter fics. To be honest, I'm surprised this hasn't been done yet. **

**Sorry if adult Doof's POV doesn't fit in with the rest of the story, which will focus on his childhood and will run through his early teenage years.  
Constructive criticism is welcome. It would be greatly appreciated if I could get 9 things about Doof's childhood that weren't mentioned in the show. Credit will go to the reviewer. **

**I'm going to make a prediction here and say this story will be about 40 chapters IF you'll do what I mentioned above.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb. **


	2. The Sugar and the Plan

**Ch 1**

**A/N- Yeah, so while I was typing this I was listening to Tears of Life from Pokemon. If you haven't heard the song yet, I highly recommend you look it up.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb.**

A boy, only five years old, stared at the out-of-reach sugar bowl, contemplating the best way to get to the powdery sugar inside without arousing his parents' attention. He had hardly ever received sweets before, whether it was chocolate, licorice, or even just a tiny piece of a cupcake. He had to be careful with the way he did this. One wrong move, one misstep, could easily cost him his supper.

Of course, he could wait until five forty-five, when his mother announced dinner. But his hunger pangs were just too great to bear. If he could just have a small pinch, he'd be the happiest child in Gimmelschtump.

The boy reached into the pantry, coughing at the cloud of dust that had billowed up around him as he pulled out a small, rickety ladder. He balanced it against the cupboard, determined to get his sugar no matter what. Carefully, he lifted his leg, flinching as the step creaked. He felt his head whip around, knowing his parents would punish him severely if he got busted.

"I can't believe I did it!" he whispered ecstatically, his arm positioned right over the sugar bowl. He extended two fingers, taking a tiny pinch. _Yes!_

The boy propped himself against the counter with one arm, ready to allow the sweet taste of both the sugar and the victory dribble into his open mouth. His arm hovered above his head, quavering with anticipation in letting go of the sweet powder.

"HEINZ DOOFENSCHMIRTZ!" a man's voice thundered from across the kitchen. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Heinz jumped so hard, he fell off the ladder and knocked over the sugar bowl. Glittering white crystals littered the dirty kitchen floor and countertop. "H-hi F-father," Heinz stammered. He smiled nervously, attempting to divert his parent's attention.

"Don't think that tone will work with me, boy," Heinz's father humphed grumpily, a frown appearing behind his long, brown beard. "Your mother and I turn our backs on you for five seconds, and this is what you do?"

"B-but it was only a tiny bit of s-sugar," Heinz pointed out, even though he knew his protests would be in vain. It was always that way.

** "**Yes, but others like sugar too," Father growled. "It's a real delicacy here. One creature can't hog it all for himself you know. Your mother and I bought this, and I can certainly say it was well-earned. As far as I'm concerned, you did nothing to earn this treat. Apparently our money has been wasted yet again on you."

_Creature. Is that all I am to him? _Heinz wondered. How come all the other kids he knew never had to deal with this sort of thing? His life was so completely unfair! All he ever wanted was some affection! Was that really too much to ask? Tears formed in his dark blue eyes, the water splashing on the floor and dissolving the sugar.

"Heinz, I want you to suck it up and go to your room this instant!" Father yelled, disapproving of Heinz acting like a wimp. "Your mother and I did not waste our money on sweets for you. You will go up to your room and stay there until we find a suitable punishment for you. Heinz tried to utter a retort, but he could not come up with any defensive words to say to his father. He turned heel, fleeing to the safety of his bedroom, where he wept at the foot of his bed. _If only I could come up with a way to make them love me. Do I earn love, or has it always been there? I wish I were older. Then I might be able to figure this out._

Heinz suddenly bolted upright, wiping the salty tears away from his eyes. An idea ignited inside his head. What if he did something that no child has ever done before? If he did something so brave, so daring, so bold, then his parents would have to recognize him! Heck, the entire village of Gimmelschtump would honor him!

_That does it. I'm going to run away. I'll show him and my mother that I am not just a heavy load! Running away will prove my worth to them! They'll have to love me after that!_

The five-year old eagerly pulled out a piece of scrap paper, preparing his plan to escape from his living nightmare.

**A/N- Like every other Doof fan, I completely despise his parents. They're the idiots, not Heinz. I think I'm making Heinz a little mature for a five-year old (which is somewhat ironic), but sweet and innocent as well. Next chapter, will Heinz finally escape his cruel parents? Or will his plan be doomed to fail? Don't forget what I said in the Author's Note last chapter! Please R&R!**


	3. A Messed Up Life

**Ch 2- Becoming a Lawn Gnome**

** A/N- Thanks to BrookeDoof for reviewing! Who is so far the **_**only **_**reviewer *cough cough*. BTW, this chapter takes place three days after the sugar bowl incident.**

** Disclaimer: Am I seriously going to have to put a disclaimer for every chapter? I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb. **

"Eat," Heinz's mother said curtly, handing him a small bowl filled with burnt liver. "Over there." She jerked her thumb away from the dining table, pointing to a space between the fireplace and cabinet.

_At least I get some dinner_, Heinz thought. _Even if it isn't the best._ He quickly crouched in the corner, avoiding his parents' angry stares. Right now, he just didn't feel like acknowledging them. He just wished he could have something else, like something that actually tasted good.

Heinz gulped down the liver, which tasted like it had been in the pantry for eons. He had just finished his portion when there was a knock on the roughly carved wooden door.

"Heinz, get the door," his father said without his gaze wavering from his meal.

Heinz did as he was told, passing by the table. He couldn't help but notice his parents' meal portions were a lot bigger than his; and that their food didn't look or smell burnt. His mother even swallowed her liver and rice without making a face! He wondered why they had no problem with the food, while he did.

Heinz mentally slapped himself. That kind of thinking was stupid._ I'm imagining things. There just wasn't enough for me. That's all. _

The boy was about to open the door, when it suddenly burst open. Heinz flinched as a heavyset man bellowed, "MR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ! Boy, where is he?"

"D-dining t-table," Heinz squeaked, his high-pitched voice cracking on the last syllable.

The burly man pushed the much smaller Heinz aside as he stomped his way to the dining room. Angry words were exchanged between both men, while his mother attempted to calm them down. Soon, the three adults came out of the room, heading towards the front door. They were worried about stuff like "repossession" and "profit". Heinz didn't bother trying to make heads or tails of it.

Outside, the man tossed the garden gnome from the front yard into his wagon pulled by a mule. Heinz's father shook his head in pain. With a "Hiya!" the strange man drove off down the dirt road.

"Dear, who is going to protect our garden from witches' spells and wood trolls now?" Heinz's mother asked.

Heinz's father paced back and forth, grumbling incoherently to himself before finally coming up with the solution.

"_Him," _the tall, thin man pointed to Heinz.

Heinz's parents positioned him by the fence, standing in front of the house. It was broad daylight, and the neighborhood children were playing kick the schtoompel right in front of him. When the mushroom came near him, he tried to kick it, but-

"BEVEGEN DIE NICHT!" his father yelled.

Heinz's small body stiffened, a tear beginning to form in one eye. Without thinking, he reached up to wipe it away.

"BEVEGEN DIE NICHT!"

At lunchtime, Heinz's mother laid out some doonkleberries for him. He only managed to eat a quarter of it, when-

"BEVEGEN DIE NICHT!"

Thus, the life of a boy posing as a lawn gnome. When evening set in, Heinz wasn't called in. Not even his mother came outside to get him. He decided to just go in by himself, when his father called from the master bedroom window. "BEVEGEN DIE NICHT!"

Even though the days were hot, the nights were stone cold. Heinz wept in silent misery, realizing the only companion he had was the moon. The spitzenhound howled, crows cawed, and crickets chirped.

That night, the entire world seemed to look down on the tiny five year old posing as a lawn gnome. He was an outcast, an abomination. A disgrace to the Doofenshmirtz family. He had asked for trouble the moment he was born.

Everyone around him thought he was a deceptive child. Everyone thought that he only acted sweet and innocent, when really he was a child starving for attention. He was thought of as a whiny, spoiled brat who loved causing trouble.

Now he really brought shame upon his family and the rest of Gimmelschtump. At school, bullies would take his lunch. On the playground, the other kids would throw rocks at him. At home, his parents ignored him unless they had to remind him of his lawn gnome duties. Around the village, the people refused to talk to him even if he needed to run some errands.

When Heinz didn't get his chores around town done, he'd get scolded, beaten, and starved. "Useless child!" his mother would often huff.

"But Mother," Heinz would say. "The others wouldn't talk to me!"

"That's what you say every single time," his mother would reply. "No supper for you. Now, go tell your father what happened so he can give you a sound thrashing!" Heinz would then have no other choice but to obey.

As if his life wasn't already messed up enough, his father just had to bring home a spitzenhound puppy that he had won in a game of Poke the Goozim with a Stick. Naming the dog "Only Son" would hurt Heinz worse than any whipping he could ever have received. Only Son soon grew an enormous hatred for Heinz, even if Heinz tried to keep out of the way as much as possible.

Once, Only Son chased Heinz up a tree and continued to bark and growl at the boy like he was prey. It was only until the neighbors complained that Only Son was called off and Heinz returned to the ground.

Heinz knew he was a burden to his parents. He could run, but he couldn't hide from Fate herself. His parents never forgave him, but for what? It seemed like the huge wrongdoing Heinz did to them was that he _simply exists._

**A/N- Okay, I lied in the last Author's Note about this being the chapter where Heinz escapes his parents. But I can tell you it will be the next Chapter! YAY!**


	4. The Last Straw

**A/N- To Princess Bubblegum11- Are you referring to the neighbor, Kenny? Sorry if I'm wrong. Oh yeah, Balloony won't come in until later. Okay, part of this chapter is your suggestion. It's not totally mine. But I decided to tweak it a lot.**

** To FrostShadowStar- Actually, there is a fic that focuses on Heinz's time with the ocelots. I really wish I could remember the name of it and the author.**

**Sorry for the late update, but it's a long chapter.**

** Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb.**

** Ch 3- The Last Straw **

* * *

"Hey, Heinz!" Kenny, his neighbor, called. "Whatcha doin?"

"Protecting my family's garden," Heinz sighed. "My parents are out of town right now." He fiddled with his fake beard, adjusting it to where it wouldn't make him itch.

Kenny, who was thirteen, waved off Heinz's statement with a shrug. "So? Doesn't that mean you can do whatever you want?"

The very thought of being able to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, appealed to Heinz. "Not really," Heinz admitted. "Can you teach me though?"

Kenny laughed. "You're such a goody two-shoes, Heinz. Rules are for losers."

Heinz inclined his head to look at his neighbor in confusion. "What's a goody two-shoes?" he asked.

"Mostly it's a person who is always boring by following rules others set up for them," Kenny explained. "In other words, they never do things their own way. And then the way they act just makes you want to dump an entire bucket of pigeon goo on their heads."

"Oh," Heinz said in a tiny voice. "Let me go change out of this stupid costume, and then we'll go do whatever you want."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Heinz met up with Kenny by the outskirts of Gimmelschtump. "Here we are!" Kenny exclaimed. "We're going Doonkleberry picking!"

"How exactly is that fun?" Heinz grumbled.

"It's not the Doonkleberry picking, it's the way you get there," Kenny said. "We're wasting time, let's go!"

"But aren't we breaking the rules- hey! What are you doing?" Heinz yelped as Kenny hauled him away from the cottages.

Kenny had to half-carry, half-drag Heinz out of the village before the latter could finally walk on his own. Even then, Heinz was still scared. "Kenny," Heinz whispered. "What if lions attack us?"

"They don't even live around here," Kenny replied.

"Doonkleberry bats?"

"They only come out at night."

"A bunch of gray robots equipped with lasers designed to harm two kids walking alone in a scary forest?"

"Too advanced. There is no way anybody could possibly build a robot in real life! You'd have to be really mechanically inclined to do that!"

"What if-"Heinz was cut off with a sharp hiss. The anxious feeling in his stomach seemed to stretch like an elastic band. "Was that your stomach?"

"I ate this morning," Kenny responded, suddenly white-faced. He whimpered.

A rustling in the bushes distracted Heinz, and a sleek, black feline slid out. Its eerie yellow eyes stared straight at Heinz. "Panther!" the boys shrieked.

Kenny hugged the trunk of the nearest tree, quickly scrambling up the plant. Heinz tried to follow his friend, but he couldn't get a grip on the trunk. "Kenny!" Heinz shrieked. He screamed as the panther sank its claws into his leg. "Kenny, please help me!" Heinz was beyond scared. He was absolutely terrified. "KENNY!"

"I'm sorry, Heinz," Kenny had a look in his eyes that Heinz couldn't place. He was now far above the ground. "But if you can scale this tree, you'll be safe. If you can't, then you'll die. I'm trying to do you a favor here, you know."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Heinz cried from both the physical and mental pain. The panther snarled, and Heinz could smell its putrid breath. Warm, sticky blood dripped down his leg.

"You've lived five years," Kenny said coldly. "Five years of loneliness and emptiness. Face it, Heinz. You will never feel a family's love, or amount to anything. You're about as useful as a sack of worms. It'll be better off for everyone if you're dead."

"What if I decide I don't want to die?" Heinz protested.

_"You've never had a choice in anything. Why should this be any different?"_ With that, Kenny agilely leaped away in the treetops.

"How could you?" Heinz screamed at nobody. The panther smashed Heinz into the ground, raising a black paw for the deathblow.

Heinz closed his eyes, preparing for the hit that would finish his life. But it never came. Slowly, he opened his eyes to find himself witnessing an amazing sight.

A small teal furred animal was on the panther's face, the cat yowling and whirling as it tried to shake it off. Heinz found it odd that this new animal had a brown hat on his head, and it looked as though it had human intelligence. "W-who are you?" Heinz asked when the panther ran away, disappearing from view.

The animal turned around, pulled a card out of its hat, and began attending to Heinz's wounds. Heinz read the card while the animal wrapped Heinz's leg in gauze. "OWCA? Secret agent? And your name is Paul the Platypus?"

Paul the Platypus looked around warily, like he was afraid the panther would come back to attack them. Then he tipped his hat to Heinz and dashed off deeper into the woods.

"Hey, wait!" Heinz called out, his squeaky voice echoing into the forest. Heinz tried to go after him, but enormous thorn bushes blocked his path. "Come back."

* * *

Heinz trudged the rest of the way "home", meeting his angry parents in the front yard. He stared at the ground, not daring to make eye contact. "What were you thinking, running off like that?" his father yelled.

"I-I-I-"Heinz couldn't say anything beyond that. _If they're angry, that means they care, right?_

"Foolish boy!" his mother snapped. "We need someone to protect our garden! There isn't enough money for us to buy a new lawn gnome! If you got killed, there would be nobody left to protect the rest of us!"

Only Son glared at Heinz as the boy ran into the house and threw himself onto his bed upstairs, sobbing hysterically. He hated Only Son. He hated his parents. He hated Kenny, and the rest of the villagers. Most of all, he hated himself. He couldn't do anything right, so he got punished a lot for that.

_ They just want me to be good. They want me to be good. _But Heinz wasn't so sure anymore. His vision was blurred from all his tears, but he managed to get a clear-sighted view of the calendar on the wall. In red marker, he had written MY BIRTHDAY on the space marked June 11th. _My birthday is tomorrow!_

Heinz's elation evaporated into thin air as he came to another realization. His parents never invited the other children. They didn't buy cake or ice cream. They never bothered to celebrate his birthday. They never had, and never will.

_Why don't I give myself a birthday present? I'll run away! I've been planning this moment for a long time, and now is the perfect moment! _

Heinz patiently waited until midnight, when both of his parents were asleep. Only Son was locked in his own special room for the night. Heinz carefully tiptoed downstairs, stealing a loaf of bread from the pantry. _They'll never miss it. _Heinz felt the grin slide off his face._ Or me._

For the first time, Heinz actually felt free. Free from the iron rod of his parents. He would never again be the subject of jeers and insults. He would start a new life.

_I have nothing more I need to say. I'm happy._

* * *

**A/N- Wow, this is crazy for a five going on six year old. Thanks to PrincessBubblegum11 for reminding me about Kenny! Poor Heinz. He definitely doesn't deserve this. No kid does. Next chapter, Heinz is now a runaway! What will happen to him?**

**Oh yeah! If anybody likes Pokemon, please check out my new P&F and Pokemon crossover!  
**


	5. An Uneasy Night

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb, or the song lyrics below.**

**A/N- Wow, I did not actually expect to make anybody cry. And right now, I'm listening to If Only Tears Could Bring You Back. **

** "**_God help the outcasts,_

_Hungry from birth._

_Show them the mercy, they don't find on Earth."- __**from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame**_

** Ch 4- An Uneasy Night**

* * *

Heinz quickly learned that running away didn't have its massive charm like he had first thought it would. A sudden storm had forced him to take shelter in a cold cave on the edge of the forest. He shivered on the damp floor, flinching at the loud clap of thunder that boomed against the swirling black vortex of clouds. Heinz wished he had a blanket and food. The loaf of bread he had stolen just wasn't enough to satisfy his hunger.

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all._ But it was too couldn't even start a fire to keep himself warm. He was thirsty too, but he couldn't go outside without getting caught in the storm or drink the cave water.

_I want somebody to watch over me! I want somebody to love me! What's so hard about that? _Heinz sniffled, his heart now an endless void of blackness. There was no love left for him, so what was the point of loving someone if they never returned it?

Heinz's sadness was wiped away, replaced by feelings of rage. Heinz muttered, "You don't exist. There is no such thing as God." He kicked a stone in anger. The rock bounced a few times before shattering against the wall.

Heinz slowly closed his eyes, drifting off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

_Heinz was trapped in a small cage at the zoo, with a lot of people gathered around his enclosure. All of them shouted jeers, making fun of his clothes, what he looked like, and just about everything else about him. His parents and Only Son stood at the front of the crowd, sneering at their son. Heinz curled against his rough bed of rocks, desperate to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. When that didn't work, he tried to find a place where he didn't have to see them. Where he didn't have to hear them. But there was absolutely nowhere to hide. _

"_You dare call yourself a Doofenshmirtz?" his father laughed, suddenly appearing behind Heinz. Only Son snarled beside his master's heels. Heinz's father leaned down, grabbing Heinz by the collar of his shirt. Heinz kicked at empty air, desperate to get free. His father's cold eyes bored deeply into Heinz's mind, his fingers tightening around his neck. _

"_F-father, p-please," Heinz choked. "D-don't do this."_

"_Oh, but I'm not the one who will put you out of your misery," his father smirked. "I have a reputation to uphold. Unlike you. But thanks for protecting our garden." He threw Heinz down on his stomach, laughing maniacally. "Finish him, Only Son!"_

_Only Son seized Heinz by the leg, growling viciously as Heinz let out earsplitting yelps. The very last thing Heinz saw before Only Son's teeth locked around his throat was a dirty stone plaque. _

_**Heinz Doofenshmirtz: The most worthless, pathetic animal to ever walk on this planet. **_

* * *

**A/N- Wow, short chapter! OMG this horrified me when I wrote this. **


	6. The Best and Worst Birthday

**A/N- You people sure are getting violent. I am so proud! Leopardlover1002, while I agree Only Son deserves to die, that's not going to solve anything. Except for making Heinz happier, which in any case I'll only be too glad to do. And I haven't even introduced Roger yet….**

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb.**

**Ch 5- The Best or Worst Birthday?**

* * *

"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me," Heinz sang as he salvaged berries from an uprooted bush. "Happy birthday to me!" his loud singing frightened some birds out of a nearby tree. Mostly he was singing because he just wanted to take his mind off that horrific dream he had last night.

Heinz smiled, happily running to a small stump where he could eat his meager breakfast in peace. _This would be a lot better if I had someone to share it with. _As a replacement for birthday cake, he ate honey from a bee's nest. Of course, he had to run from a swarm of insects right afterward, but it was almost worth getting a sting over. Almost.

Later on that day, Heinz found a neighboring village that had a complicated name he didn't know how to pronounce. He decided to stop by so he could steal food from the marketplace. Heinz knew stealing was wrong, but he was so hungry. He just needed one tiny bite of something. Anything was good for his rumbling stomach!

Heinz made his way to where a vendor was selling a variety of fresh fruit. He slowly crawled to where he could reach the fruit, but to where the vendor couldn't see him. While the formidable looking man was arguing with one woman about the price of a watermelon, Heinz snagged hold of a bunch of grapes and ran off with them. The vendor didn't even notice. Heinz laughed, feeling the thrill of victory for the first time in his life.

Smelling more food, Heinz followed his nose to a bakery, where an assortment of pastries lay on the shelf. He needed a way to get those treats, and without getting caught.

He pushed his nose up to the glass, staring at a chocolate cupcake topped with Doonkleberries. "Can I get you anything, kid?" the man behind the counter asked.

Heinz was at a loss for words. He stuttered, "Give me a moment."

The man nodded and mumbled something about kids. Heinz decided to go to Plan B. He'd just get something and run out the door without paying. If he could make it to the forest, he'd be safe.

"I'd like two Druselstinian Doonkleberry Cupcakes please," Heinz said politely.

The man wrapped up Heinz's order in a brown paper bag, dropping it into the birthday boy's hands. "That'll be-"

Before Heinz could hear the rest of the sentence, he tore out the door in a hurry. "HEY!" Heinz heard. "THAT BOY'S A THIEF! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!"

Villagers yelped as Heinz dashed by, hugging the brown paper bag tightly to his chest.

_The forest…. The forest…. _

"Get back here!" a policeman bellowed, brandishing a club. Heinz didn't stop. He couldn't stop, not now!

_If I could just… get… to the forest…._

"Thieve!" the policeman continued to pursue him. "Scoundrel! Dirty rotten street rat!"

Heinz passed the borderline of the village. Now if he could just make it to the forest!

Immediately, things went completely wrong. The pursuing policeman flung his club at Heinz, whacking him on the head. Heinz yelled in pain, falling on his knees. He tried to get up, but pain racked his head and leg. "About time!" the policeman said gruffly. "You're a runaway, aren't you?" He shook Heinz's collar.

"Y-yes," Heinz squeaked, intimidated.

"You do realize I have no choice but to march you straight home," the policeman growled. He carelessly tossed the bag of cupcakes over his shoulder, then used his boot to smash them into the ground.

_That was supposed to be my birthday treat! _Heinz screamed inside his head.

"Where's your house, boy?" the policeman snarled.

_I musn't tell him... I musn't tell him... _

_"_Answer me!" the policeman demanded, making Heinz's head hurt even worse. Little did Heinz know that the little luck he had would run out at that very moment._  
_

"I'll take him off your hands now. Sorry about the trouble this _creature_ has caused you," a new voice said.

Heinz gulped, anxiously turning his head to the person he wanted to see the least.

* * *

**A/N- Nothing I really have to say here! Stay tuned!**


	7. Punishment

**A/N- Thanks to BrookeDoof, Princess Bubblegum11, FrostShadowStar, ReaderWriterDreamerGirl7, Leopardlover1002, Doof-fan, and Galaxina-the-Seedrian for reviewing!**

**Sorry I left you guys on a cliffhanger for so long. I got grounded from fanfic for a while.**

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb.**

** Ch 6- Punishment**

* * *

"How dare you run away from home and make your mother and me look bad!" Heinz's father ranted. Only Son growled and shoved Heinz's back, causing the boy to fall down on his stomach. His leg was already injured enough. He didn't need any more harm done to his body. "Well, what are you waiting for, boy?" his father snapped. "Stand up!"

"I t-think there's something wrong with my leg," Heinz stammered nervously. "I can't walk very well."

"Excuses, excuses!" Heinz's father growled. "This is your fault. Maybe you should've thought twice before leaving home. If you could just behave yourself, we wouldn't have to discipline you so much."

"But I do behave myself!" Heinz protested.

"Running away? Stealing food? You call that disciplined?" his father gave a short, harsh laugh. "Do you realize how worried we were?"

_You're only worried for yourselves and the garden, not me!_ Heinz kept his mouth shut, not wanting to risk his father's wrath. He struggled to his feet, trailing behind Only Son and his dad.

"Father, isn't our house over there?" Heinz asked, wondering why they were walking to the Gimmelschtump Village Center instead of the house.

"I have something I need to do in town first," his father replied. "And I'll need you for it."

He said it casually, yet Heinz sensed something else behind his father's words. Heinz wished he could just crawl under a rock and stay there forever. He wished he could just escape his cage and fly away.

Heinz often wondered if he would ever be free from his cruel parents. He wanted to be in a place where nobody forced him to be a lawn gnome, where nobody would beat him for messing up on a tiny little thing. But all that seemed like a far-off dream. It was all in his little fantasy realm.

Heinz had to face it. What was a reality, a terrible, mortifying reality for him was nothing but a fairy tale for another. But there wasn't a happy ending in sight. There would never be a happy ending for him.

Heinz was jerked back to the present by a sudden, searing pain in his right shoulder. At first, Heinz thought his shoulder was just out of place, that it was just dislocated. But when he touched the area, he felt more pain, and _blood._

"Are you a man or a schnitzel?" Heinz's father jeered. "You disgust me! A man would never crumple from pain! I can't believe I sired such a weakling of a son!"

Taunts flooded in, none of the voices sounding shocked or angry. Instead, the surrounding crowd was actually taking pleasure in Heinz's pain.

"Worthless!"

"Stupid!"

"You sickening excuse of a human being!"

Heinz threw up his arm in defense, attempting to fight off his father, who was brandishing a barbed whip. His father struck again, this time catching Heinz around the legs. Heinz whimpered as the barbs dug deep into his skin.

The whip lashed again, and again. Heinz was down on hands and knees, pleading for his father to stop. His long nose was broken, blood streaming from his arms, dripping down his legs. Pieces of his shirt lay on the ground, stained crimson red. Heinz could barely see anything.

All the voices of the villagers merged into one, resonating voice with a slight demonic hum to it. "You'll always be worthless! You'll never be any good to us! Why don't you just give up? Give up on everything. Just give in. If you do, you'll never have to suffer again."

"Well, Heinz?" his father's voice brought him down to earth. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

His father expected him to apologize. His father wanted Heinz to conform to what _he _wanted. Heinz met his father's gaze, doing his best not to show fear.

"I have nothing I need to say."

"Idiot boy!" his father snapped. "I think a whip isn't enough for you. "

_Maybe I'll just have to do lawn gnome duties for a few extra nights,_ Heinz tried to shrug, but the pain in his shoulder grew worse. His entire body ached. His mind ached. But the part of Heinz's body that hurt the most was his heart.

He would never be loved. He would never be wanted. He would never have a real family, or a cozy bed. His life would forever be a living hell. Nobody in the world would care for a small child raised in poverty.

"Only Son, do what you must," his father said. Only Son bounded up, seizing Heinz's torn pants leg and dragging him around the square.

The villagers laughed as Heinz scrabbled around in vain for an anchor. The rough ground cut into Heinz's already bruised skin. By now, his shirt was in shreds, showing all the ugly cuts and bruises on his small body.

"As extra punishment, you will not have dinner tonight, nor breakfast and lunch tomorrow. Understand, boy?" Heinz's father barked. Even his voice seemed faraway...

Everything began to fade in and out of existence, black spots darting in front of his eyes. He could let go of everything. Nothing would ever bother him again... Heinz nodded, barely hearing anything. Then he flopped over to his side and lost consciousness._ Maybe I'll just give up. It won't hurt anybody._

_ At least I'll be out of this living nightmare now…._

* * *

**A/N- I hate myself for doing this to poor little Heinz. I really get the feeling there's more to his childhood than what the show lets on….**


	8. Rite of Passage

**A/N- Wow, 24 reviews! I love you guys!**

**I apologize for the wait. I do all of my fanfiction stuff on my laptop, and sometimes the wi-fi is pretty crummy. Not to mention an author's worst nightmare: writer's block.**

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb.**

**Ch 7- Rite of Passage**

* * *

There seemed to be no rest for Heinz in this universe. Almost immediately after he had gained consciousness, his parents literally dragged him to the Gimmelschtump Public Wetness Maker, which wasn't really a public pool because it only had water in it on alternating Thursdays.

"Go in the locker room and put on your bathing suit now!" Heinz's father shoved a dull blue bathing suit into his son's arms. Heinz whimpered and obeyed wthout question.

When Heinz finished changing, he found a crowd gathering underneath the high diving board. "Ladies and gentlemen!" Heinz's father announced. "We are gathered here for an important rite of passage that every boy must do in order to receive his manhood! My son, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, will now jump from the high diving board!"

No applause met Heinz's ears.

"Are you sure he's ready for this?" one woman asked skeptically. "He's covered in bumps and bruises and stuff."

Heinz looked down at his own body, seeing lots of red marks and scratches from being beaten up earlier. Or had they been from previous beatings? Heinz wasn't really sure.

"I can assure you that all those marks on his body come from him just practicing all the time," Heinz's father cut in.

"You're certain about that, right?" someone asked. "I saw you whipping the boy earlier today in the village center. He didn't endure it very well."

"He just stole something. He's quite the troublemaker," Heinz's father replied smoothly. "We let him rest, which he probably didn't deserve, but at least he's ready now!"

Heinz could not believe every person in the crowd fell for the lie hook, line, and slinker. He didn't get any rest before coming to the pool! In fact, his parents had dragged him here against his will! And he wasn't even ready at all for this!

_I'm not a troublemaker, right?_

Heinz knew all too well about the sadistic monsters his parents had become. They enjoyed making him suffer, but for what? Why?

"Are you a man or a schnitzel?" Heinz's father shouted, startling Heinz.

The young boy scrambled up the ladder of the high diving board, desperate to prove himself. "I'm a man, I'm a man," Heinz whispered.

He finally made it to the top of the diving board. It was only then that Heinz realized just how far down it was. The pool looked like a piece of flimsy blue paper from Heinz's perspective. Maybe it wasn't even a pool at all! What if it was just concrete painted blue, sitting there ready to break Heinz's neck at the first opportunity?

Heinz clutched the wooden springboard, scared to death. He couldn't jump, not with all those people watching him like hawks. He wished they would look away. He wanted them to go away. He would rather be anywhere else but here.

"That boy is a schnitzel!" a man laughed.

Heinz nervously squinted down at his disapproving parents. As he watched, his father took out two brown paper bags out of his pocket.

When Heinz climbed back down the ladder, he heard his father say, "I have no son."

His parents didn't speak to him on the way home, even wearing the brown paper bags back to their house to conceal their shame. "Too close!" Heinz's father growled from underneath the bag.

How they could even see him or the road, Heinz had no idea. The rest of the afternoon passed by slowly, time creeping by like a snail.

That night, Heinz was locked out of the house. He wasn't posing as a lawn gnome. He was Heinz: the poor disowned boy. Abandoned. To an extent, orphaned.

Heinz could hear his parents talking to each other. They were in front of the cozy fireplace. Heinz longed for the warmth of the flames. He longed for a real family, one that would never turn their backs on him when he screwed up. One that would always be there for him, no matter what.

"This is perfect, you know," Heinz's father said. "The boy is gone now. The rite of passage was all a trick that everybody fell for."

"And the boy can handle being out there on his own," his mother said. "I wish we could have a real son, or a daughter."

"As long as it's a real person who actually is a somebody," his father growled.

Heinz had heard enough. They just wanted to get rid of him once and for all. This time, he really was alone in the world. He tore himself away from the window, running towards the forbidden woods.

Nobody would care if he died tonight anyways.

* * *

**A/N- I'm really starting to push it, am I? I'm also really going off the original plan for the story. Originally, this fanfic wasn't going to be as dark. And I bet this thing might go over 40 chapters. Poor little Heinz…. **


	9. Not Losing Hope Just Yet

**A/N- Yeah, so I'm doing this on a school computer. It's not against the rules or anything because I don't have exams as a library aide. The only exam I'm worried about is Algebra…. Oh, and Science too. I freakin' hate free response questions!**

**Anyways, I have a poll on my profile now so please feel free to check it out!  
**

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb, or the quote at the bottom. God, how many times am I going to have to type that out?  
**

**Without further ado, I give you Chapter 8 of BIG!  
**

**Warning: This chapter contains a dark element.  
**

**Ch 8- Giving Up, but Not Losing Hope Just Yet  
**

* * *

Heinz curled up in a makeshift bed of moss and bracken. He was exhausted after having an accidental run-in with a swarm of bees. He had only received one sting, but then he just had to fall off the edge of a cliff too. As if that wasn't bad enough, Heinz had also tumbled through a thicket of thorns, spiked himself on a bunch of cacti, and landed on an entire nest of fire ants. Miraculously, he didn't break any bones or anything else. Even so, Heinz found himself wishing that he had broken something, so he could focus on a single source of pain.

But still, he was so itchy that he couldn't sleep. Heinz spent the entire night tossing and turning, moaning about how much his body ached. He wanted his physical, mental, and his emotional pain to end. Heinz began to realize just how much everyone else was right.

His father, who had tried and failed to make a man out of Heinz. _"Apparently our money has been wasted yet again on you." _Heinz was nothing but a burden to his parents. He had never been wanted from even before he was born. Heinz was just a mistake. His parents knew it and Heinz finally understood it.

_He was nothing but a mistake. _

His mother, who had punished Heinz for tiny flaws, minor things that other parents would overlook. She even made Heinz do things that other people with common sense would never do.

* * *

*Flashback*

_"Heinz, you stupid boy! What part of fetching firewood do you not understand?" Heinz's mother turned around to glare at her son, who was nervously wringing his hands. _

_"But Mother, it's a blizzard out there!" Heinz protested. "I'll freeze to death if I go!"  
_

_Heinz's mother didn't take any notice of the snow pounding the window, or the howling of the wind through the chimney. "Then put on your gloves, jacket, and hat and bring back some firewood. Your father and I need some way to keep warm in this weather."  
_

_"But I don't have a hat or gloves," Heinz protested. "If you want firewood, then why don't you or Father go get it yourselves?"_

_His mother's eyes flashed. "Hold your tongue, boy," she spat."You're very lucky that I'm nice enough to not lock you out of this house in the middle of this blizzard tonight!"  
_

_"You're never nice to me!" Heinz's voice rose to a shrill cry. "Why can't you just treat me like a son, and not a stupid slave? What's so hard about that?"  
_

_That was the last straw. Heinz's mother grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him outside. _

_Before she slammed the door shut, Heinz heard her say, "You are a mistake. You'll always be a mistake. Mistakes must learn their place in the world quickly if they want to survive." In a falsely sweet tone, she added,"And don't come back without that firewood."  
_

* * *

Heinz had fetched the firewood, but what did he get out of having the guts to go outside in the middle of a winter storm and fetching the firewood so that his parents were able to keep warm? A dinner of liver and soggy vegetables and a brick pillow for his worn-down mattress in the attic, that's what.

Heinz knew he was only needed. Needing something meant that you were dependent on that object, like it was your lifeline. It meant that you had to have it, no matter if you liked it or not. His parents had depended on Heinz to protect the garden from black magic. They had _needed _Heinz to protect the garden.

Heinz knew how it felt to be needed, but he had never known how it felt to be wanted. He was nothing but a mistake, stuck in a life full of impending doom and there was no way out of it.

_No way out. No way out. There's got to be a way out, but how?_

He stared up at the faraway stars, wondering what his life would be like if he could watch the millions of people on Earth from way up there. If his pain could just end already...

Nobody wanted him around, so they would never miss him if he died. They wouldn't care how he died, as long as he was dead. Heinz started to wish that the panther that had attacked him a few days ago had killed him. That would've been so much easier than to go on living.

_I have only one choice. I have to die. _

Heinz turned in his bed, focusing on that single thought. _I have to die. I have to die. _

But did he want to die? Was it necessary?

_Those are bad thoughts_, Heinz told himself. _Stop it. _

_I don't want to die. I want to prove everybody else wrong. I am not going to die. Not for a long time._

* * *

**"**_**I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."**__  
_

_From Mewtwo, Pokemon the First Movie.  
_

**A/N- I figured having** **Heinz actually ****try to commit suicide would become way too dark. Yeah, I'm a real Pokefreak now. I feel like that quote can relate to the story somehow, but I'm not entirely sure how. Weird. **_  
_

**Anyways, R&R! And please check out my poll on my profile!  
**


	10. Adopted

**A/N- Yay! School's out! But seriously, who comes up with the final exam stuff? How on Earth are we expected to pass a PE exam (btw, I got a 51 on that. I really don't care.) History, Algebra, Science, and English: I care what I get on those. PE: I seriously don't care. **

** I do not own Phineas and Ferb.**

** Ch 9- Adopted**

* * *

Two days later, Heinz woke up to a gentle purring noise. Yawning, Heinz found himself lying in the dirt with a thicket of leaves above his head. There was a face above him...

_Am I dead? _Heinz thought. But the face wasn't human. No person had fur, pointed ears, or glowing green eyes! Three more identical faces appeared. Heinz realized he was right in the middle of an ocelot den. That wasn't good.

He couldn't remember if he had chosen to sleep here, or if one of the ocelots had dragged him here for dinner. Either way, he was in deep trouble.

But instead of being attacked, the nearest ocelot licked Heinz's cheek. He wasn't sure if this was a trick.

_No, it is a trick. Every time I trust someone, I always get hurt. They take advantage, and I get nothing but lots of pain. I can't trust any living creature, human or animal. _

Two little kittens tumbled straight into Heinz's lap. They looked at him with twinkling eyes, wrapping their tails around his arms.

_ Well, they are kind of cute…._

Amazingly, he found that he could pet the kittens with no problem. The mama wildcat purred and started to vigorously lick Heinz's head. He didn't like the rough sandpapery tongue, but he enjoyed the warm feeling that was slowly rising in his chest.

* * *

*One week later *

These ocelots actually loved him. They didn't spank, whip, or cruelly mistreat Heinz. He was treated as one of them. He ate with them, slept with them, and played with them. The two kittens and Heinz would often have a friendly tussle together, in which his foster siblings would usually win.

Heinz affectionately called the two grown-up wildcats Mama and Papa Ocelot. When he cried, Mama Ocelot would nuzzle his cheek and lent him a shoulder to sob on. Heinz loved the soft feel of her fur tickling his nose and her gentle claws running down the back of his shirt.

Papa Ocelot brought back lots of food to eat. Heinz loved the taste of raw deer meat. He really loved to fight with his two foster siblings over who got the last scraps.

At night, Mama Ocelot wrapped her tail around Heinz to keep him warm. But he couldn't go to sleep. Heinz didn't understand why his parents didn't love him. He wondered if they missed him at all. If they did care, they would be worried sick. But they didn't care. Nobody cared.

Sensing Heinz's sadness, Mama Ocelot purred softly to calm him down. She rubbed her muzzle against his cheek, the ocelot equivalent of a kiss.

_Is this what love is? Even though I'm not an ocelot, they still love me for who I am.  
_

"I love you Mama," Heinz squeaked. "Good night."

Mama Ocelot curled herself around him, letting his head rest on her shoulder.

For once, Heinz didn't have any nightmares. He finally had a real family.

* * *

**A/N- I know raw meat can cause illness, but can you guys just ignore that? I'm just using cartoon logic here. R&R! And please vote on my poll!**


	11. Insert Clever Title Here

**A/N- Four things I have to say before we kick off this chapter. First, part of this chapter has Heinz's father and Only Son in it. I must ask you to please "try" (notice how I use that word loosely) refrain from all types of violence, including murder (Galaxina), mutilating with a sai (Leopardlover), and bashing his parents' heads against concrete walls (Princessbubblegum). **

**Second, don't get too comfortable. I know many people are happy because Heinz is happy, but do you really expect it to last? **

**Third, and this is mostly to Shychick, if anything in the previous chapter is similar to the story "Manchild", then it's purely coincidental. I did read that fanfic, and I absolutely loved it. Besides, I'm using my own version of events.**

**Four, did anybody see the promo for Sipping With The Enemy? I'm a huge Monty/Vanessa fan. Ferbnessa never grew on me….**

**I do not own P&F.**

** Ch 10- Living Like an Ocelot**

* * *

Heinz squirmed between Mama Ocelot's paws, trying to shove his foster mother's head away. Apparently, she thought he needed a bath. He sighed, knowing that the nearest stream was two miles away. Mama Ocelot's tongue was the only way he could get clean. Even if it wasn't his idea of an ideal bath, Heinz decided he could put up with it.

The two ocelot kittens tugged on the shoelaces of Heinz's sneakers, ready to play some more. But Mama Ocelot had other plans. She grabbed her two kittens by their scruffs and deposited them by the roots of a large, bare-leafed tree. She flicked her tail, signaling for Heinz to join them.

He gulped, knowing there was no way he would be able to climb that tree.

Heinz gripped the rough tree bark and kicked furiously. It had already been twenty minutes into the tree-climbing lesson, and he still couldn't get six feet above the ground. Meanwhile, the two ocelot kittens were sitting impatiently in the highest branch.

"I'm no good at climbing," Heinz told Mama Ocelot after another failed attempt. "I don't have any claws."

_**That's your reason for not climbing? **_Mama Ocelot seemed to say with her eyes. _**That's not an excuse. Whatever happened to your persistence? You cannot give up. I lack your power of speech, but has that ever stopped me from trying to communicate with you? You can't give up on anything, no matter how tough. I repeat, you cannot give up.**_

"Um, okay," Heinz muttered, wrapping his legs around the trunk. He slowly pushed himself upwards. _I can't give up, I can't give up. _

* * *

Only Son growled furiously at the picture of Heinz. Mr. Doofenshmirtz removed the frame from the shelf and threw it straight into the fireplace. Heinz was dead. His body was rotting somewhere in Druselstein. He would be better off dead.

Mr. Doofenshmirtz didn't display any sort of emotion to losing Heinz. The boy was gone from his life. The mistake was gone from his life.

That boy just had the nerve to exist. He just had to have the will to live. But he had completely forgotten his place in the world. A mistake. And mistakes didn't deserve to live.

* * *

The ocelots and Heinz settled themselves around a dead deer that Papa Ocelot had killed. While the others tore at the flesh with their claws and teeth, Heinz snatched two deer legs for himself. He devoured them quickly, spitting out the bones.

But he couldn't help but wonder how his real parents were doing. Maybe they were happier without him.

_They don't miss me. So why should I miss them? _he thought bitterly.

* * *

**A/N- I'm not very pleased with this chapter. Not one of my best. Please R&R and vote in my poll!**


	12. Captured

**A/N- Ginormous twist in this chapter! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **

**Oh, this chapter takes place six months after the last one.**

**I do not own P&F.**

**Ch 11- Captured**

* * *

Not even a slightly rainy day could spoil Heinz's great mood. He and the two ocelot kittens splashed through the mud, happily playing with no cares in the world. Keeping one of the ocelot kittens pinned down with his knee, Heinz boxed the other around its ears. The two kittens purred, the ocelot equivalent of laughter.

For once, Heinz wasn't the person being laughed at. This time, he could laugh along with them. The kittens and their parents treated him as a member of the family. Not a servant, or a scapegoat.

The definition of the word _family _had eluded Heinz ever since he was born into the cold, cruel world. He didn't know what it meant at all. But now he did.

"All right, you two furballs," Heinz giggled as the trio wrestled each other for dominance. "I'm tired. Want a drink?"

The kittens mewed in agreement. _Now where is there a stream here? Oh, yeah. I forgot. It's just a few feet into the forbidden territory. But we can't go there. It's forbidden for a reason._

The nearest stream Heinz wanted to go to lay a few feet inside the forbidden territory. The boundary between the ocelot family and the forbidden territory was the hugging trees.

Heinz remembered his tour of the ocelots' territory, courtesy of Papa Ocelot.

* * *

*_Flashback*_

_ 'Heinz, this is the border between our territory and what lays beyond our home,' Papa Ocelot growled. 'You must never go past the hugging trees.' He flicked his tail toward two dead trees that were intertwined with each other, giving Heinz the impression that they were hugging. _

_ Heinz directed his attention past the hugging trees. He saw darkness. Nothing but trees, dead bushes, and darkness. "I'm not scared of the dark," Heinz boasted to Papa Ocelot. He stepped across the border mark, standing proudly on the other side. _

_ Papa Ocelot reacted immediately. With one leap, he grabbed the collar of Heinz's shirt and hauled him back across the border. 'You don't get it, do you?' Papa Ocelot snarled. 'There is an evil somewhere in the forbidden territory! No animal that has gone in there has ever come out! We are not going to let you die!'_

_ To Papa Ocelot's surprise, Heinz seemed terrified at his sudden outburst. 'Sorry if I scared you,' Papa Ocelot meowed more gently. 'Just don't go in the forbidden territory.'_

_ Heinz nodded, still shaking. As an apology, Papa Ocelot rubbed his head on Heinz's cheek. 'Come on,' the wildcat mewed softly. 'Let's see if there's any deer in this area.'_

_*End flashback*_

* * *

"Hey, hold on a sec you two!" Heinz called to the kittens. "We can't go past those trees!"

Both of the kittens gave Heinz a "Yeah? Who says?" look and tumbled past the borderline.

"We're really not supposed to go in there!" Heinz shouted, his voice echoing into the trees. "Can't we just find another stream? I know we'll have to walk more, but it's better to be safe than sorry!"

Heinz crossed the border, nervously groping his way through the darkness. "Where'd you guys go?" Heinz called.

He heard two strangled screeches, followed by a metallic clang. _Oh, no._ Even in the dark, Heinz could see the two kittens trapped in a cage. Checking to make sure the coast was clear, Heinz approached them.

"Okay, how am I supposed to get you out of here?" Heinz murmured, feeling the cage's surface as he tried to figure out a way to set the kittens free.

"I think I've got it!" Heinz exclaimed.

"And just what do you think you're doing?"

* * *

**A/N- Told you there would be a twist! Stay tuned!**


	13. Betrayal

**A/N- I apologize for leaving you alone with the cliffhanger so long! Here's the next chapter!**

**Oh, should I be worried about the whole Fanfiction purge thing? Sorry, I really don't know what to think after seeing people driving themselves crazy over it. **

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb.**

**Ch 12- Betrayal**

* * *

"And just what do you think you're doing?" a large hand clamped down around Heinz's shoulder.

"What does it look like?" Heinz squeaked, trying to loosen the hand. It only tightened, threatening to break Heinz's collarbone. "These kittens are trapped!"

"Yeah, by us," growled the voice. "We're poachers, kiddo. We need those kittens. Speaking of which, where there are kittens, there oughta be parents. Do you know where they are, kid?"

Heinz refused to answer. He wouldn't answer. These were bad people. He wondered if these poachers were the reason that Mama and Papa Ocelot refused to wander in these parts of the woods. He wished he had listened to them.

_But what about the kittens? They needed me. I can't give up. I have to remember what Mama Ocelot told me. She said not to give up anything, no matter how tough. They need me. _

"You're coming with us kid," a different, feminine voice said. "Sounds as though you need to talk to the leader. What's your name, kiddo?" A woman appeared, leaning down so she could leer in Heinz's face.

"Not saying," Heinz snarled.

"Tell us now!" the man demanded.

"No!"

"Wait a sec," the woman said. "I recognize you! You're the boy who got whipped in public a couple months ago! This is Heinz Doofenshmirtz!"

"Can't be-" the man gasped. "We are so taking you to our leader!"

"It's a shame really," the woman crooned. "Looks as though Justin's son is alive after all! Unfortunately, we won't be able to hold the boy for ransom. Mostly because he doesn't love _you."_

As much as Heinz hated to admit it, she was right. The only ones who would ever love him were the ocelots. And if he didn't get the kittens out of danger….

"Let's go," the man said. "You're going to be meeting the boss."

* * *

At the small, cramped trailer, Heinz was tied to a chair with rope. The cage with the kittens was hung on the low ceiling, rocking slightly as the kittens tried to make their escape.

"So, you're Heinz. How's life with the ocelots?" a well-built man taunted.

"It was great. Until you showed up," Heinz retorted.

"We showed up?" the man laughed. "No, you showed up. We've always been here. Hunting animals, evading authority, we like it here. And now, unless you want to die, you'll tell us where the parents of these kittens are."

"I don't know where they are!" Heinz lied, speaking a little too quickly.

"Don't lie, Heinz. I know that you know."

"I really don't know," Heinz whimpered.

"Tell me, Heinz. Or the consequences won't be pretty."

"Come again?"

"If you want both yourself and the ocelot kittens to die, don't talk. If you want both yourself and the ocelot kittens to live, start talking."

Heinz was torn between his will to live and loyalty to his adopted family. He really wished he was back in the den with the other ocelots. He wanted to be eating raw meat, playing with the kittens, or just snoozing beside the rest of the family.

_I blew it. Why do I always blow it? Why?_

Without thinking, Heinz blurted, "I can take you there! Please don't hurt me or the kittens!"

That response seemed to satisfy the leader. "Release him," he ordered.

When the ropes were untied, Heinz fell face down on the floor, crying at what he had just said.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the three poachers and Heinz were at the huge tree where the ocelots had made their den. "The kid is lying!" one of the cronies hissed. Heinz shivered, trying not to think at what they could do to him.

"No," the leader said calmly. "He's not lying. The parents are just out right now. After all, we have those kittens. The parents are probably just looking for them now. All we have to do is sit back and wait." Heinz flinched as the leader turned the safety catch off his rifle. _Well, it's not pointed at me, but still…._

"Kid, don't cry," the leader said calmly. "You did us a favor here. We can get rich off their pelts really fast! We'll even give you some of the money if you want it."

"B-but I don't want money," Heinz stammered. "I can get on fine with just a family." _I wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. _

"I thought you were smarter than you looked," the woman scoffed. "I guess you're as dumb as they say you are."

"I'm not dumb!" Heinz protested.

"Keep that kid quiet!" the leader snarled. "I think the grown-up ocelots are coming!"

A sudden hush fell over the group as Mama and Papa Ocelot approached. Mama Ocelot seemed to be leaning on Papa Ocelot, and both of them couldn't walk in a straight line. The leader cocked his rifle, the other two adults doing the same. "P-please don't kill them!" Heinz pleaded, throwing himself onto the leader's body. "They're the only family I've got!"

"You're obviously a human," the leader sneered. "How you can consider these pathetic creatures family, I have no idea." He gave a short, harsh laugh. "The world is a cruel place. Why not take the easy way out? But if you insist on getting in my way-"

Instead of aiming at the ocelots, the man positioned his gun so that it was pointed straight at Heinz's heart. Heinz stumbled back, but one of the cronies smacked him in the head and sent him sprawling on the ground. The boy tried to get up, but a heavy boot pushed him down into the mud. The leader stood over him, laughing. "You don't understand. I need to make a living. I'm actually worth something, _unlike you._"

"Not by much," Heinz spat. The boot pressed on his throat, threatening to break his windpipe. Heinz choked, staring up at the cold-hearted, murderous man who was willing to do anything to get money. Which included killing an innocent child.

_Everybody thinks I'm better off dead. Everybody thinks I'm ready to take the easy way out. Are they right? But I have to remember what Mama Ocelot taught me. Never give up, even when times are tough. But…I can't do anything. I'm trapped. I'm gonna die. Kenny was right. I don't have a say in anything. I never have, and never will. _

Heinz closed his eyes, preparing for the shot that would end his life. He heard screeching and caterwauls of pain, but all that seemed far away. Two gunshots rang out, followed by angry yowls. But neither of the shots were aimed at Heinz.

He opened his eyes, unsure of what had just happened. He didn't see any lush white clouds, or the enormous golden gates. Instead, he saw thick, crimson liquid on the ground. Blood. But it wasn't his. He was still alive. Yet he didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing.

But Heinz was still weak from exhaustion. He wanted to forget about his actions. He wanted to sob on somebody's shoulder. He wanted Mama and Papa Ocelot. He had betrayed them. It was all his fault.

In front of him lay the broken body of Mama Ocelot. The poachers had left the area. And Papa Ocelot was nowhere to be found.

The only ones who had ever loved him were either dead or dying. And it was all his fault. He had betrayed his only family.

* * *

**A/N- So, what happens next? Stay tuned! Please R&R!**


	14. Dying

**A/N- I have nothing I need to say here! Please enjoy, or grab your Kleenexes, I really don't know. I recommend listening to the song below (If We Hold On Together, sung by Diana Ross. Look it up on Youtube!) while you read this chapter.  
**

**Well, I never said Mama Ocelot was dead in the last chapter. She was just badly wounded.  
**

**I do not own the song, or P&F.**

_**"When we are out there in the dark  
We'll dream about the sun  
In the dark we'll feel the light  
Warm our hearts, everyone**_

_**If we hold on together**_  
_**I know our dreams will never die**_  
_**Dreams see us through to forever**_  
_**As high as souls can fly**_  
_**The clouds roll by**_  
_**For you and I" – If We Hold On Together, sung by Diana Ross**_

* * *

_**Ch 13-** Dying_

There was nothing he could do…or was there? Heinz wanted comfort. And for that, he needed the only ones who ever truly loved him. The kittens were back at the trailer, and Heinz didn't know what happened to Papa Ocelot. For some odd reason, the poachers hadn't taken Mama Ocelot's body away.

Heinz wondered if they deliberately left her there as a heartless, cruel taunt. Why did everyone love it when he suffered? What did they gain by it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Like always, nothing made sense to Heinz.

"Mama?" Heinz crawled up to his foster mother.

Mama Ocelot was barely breathing, her legs splayed out in awkward angles. Her tail flicked weakly. Blood lapped Heinz's exposed skin, makng him flinch.

"I'm sorry! This is all my fault, it's all my fault," Heinz buried his head into Mama Ocelot's fur. Lightning lit up the sky, thunder roared, and rain poured down, as if the weather were matching Heinz's emotions. "It's all my fault…." He couldn't stop the tears. "I hate myself so much…." It was him against the world now. "Please don't leave…." he whispered, his voice barely audible. "I don't wanna be alone…."

Mama Ocelot purred softly, then brought her paw up to her mouth. She used her remaining strength to snap something, and slowly pushed the object into Heinz's hand._ Remember what I taught you, and I'll always be with you every step of the way,_ she seemed to say.

It was an ocelot claw. _Mama Ocelot's claw._

Her trembling paw touched Heinz's chest. "Mama," Heinz whimpered. "I love you." She gave him a hint of a smile, and then her paw fell, her head thumping against the muddy ground.

"Mama?" There was no response. She didn't move, not even when Heinz pounded his fist against her chest. He couldn't feel her heart beating.

Heinz had never felt so scared, so alone in his life. The invisible walls were beginning to close in, trapping Heinz in his own lake of despair. There was nobody he could run to, nobody who would embrace him and tell him everything would be all right. There was nobody to give him a ray of hope, nobody to lend him a shoulder he could cry on. Most of all, there was nobody to love him.

That was all Heinz wanted! Just a simple, yet complex four-letter word known as _love._ What was so hard about that? _What?_

She and the other ocelots were the only ones who cared for him when he woke up each morning. When Heinz stumbled, they were there to put him back on his feet. They were the only ones who knew Heinz for who he really was. In their eyes, Heinz was just like them.

But those good old days were over. Looking at the ocelot claw in his hand, Heinz realized he was truly alone.

* * *

**A/N- I was bawling when I wrote this. Believe me, I don't cry very easily when it comes to fanfiction. Also, please don't complain about me breaking canon in this. I barely understand the concept of it, and I really don't care.  
**


	15. Back to the Hellhole

**A/N- This Saturday, I'm going on a one-week vacation. My mom and I are going to be visiting relatives in Toronto. I won't be updating during that time, but I think I can still read and review your stories. **

**Oh and one more thing. ****Happy Birthday to NattyMc!**

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb.**

**Ch 14- Back to the Hellhole**

* * *

Heinz wished he had another option. He wished he didn't have to go back. He wanted to live in the woods for the rest of his life. But the forest was big, and full of dangers. Heinz had been lucky he wasn't killed the moment he set had foot in the woods.

He couldn't get food on his own. He was dependent on somebody. And then there were the ocelots….

The ocelots, who had treated Heinz like he was part of the family. The ocelots, who had loved him. The ocelots, who had sacrificed themselves….

No, Heinz refused to think about that. But still, somebody had to be blamed. And that somebody was _him._ He was at fault for this.

He was so naïve… and the poachers used that to their advantage. He had to be so stupid. He had to be a schnitzel. He just had to be weak.

Heinz vowed not to be a weakling any longer. He'd be strong, just like Mama and Papa Ocelot. He wouldn't be a coward, who took beatings without defending himself at first. He would be an ocelot.

His finger traveled to the ocelot claw in his pocket. _Mama, help me, _Heinz prayed. He'd be strong… for them.

He knew what he had to do. He had to go back to his parents' house. Not a _home_, a house. Heinz would never call that place a home. Home is a place where your heart is (at least Heinz thought that was how the saying went), and right now Heinz's heart only contained the coldness and emptiness of that place. It would never be a home.

* * *

When Heinz arrived at his parents' house, he found them standing in the front yard. Wordlessly, Heinz's father shoved a pile of dirty clothes into his arms. Heinz recognized the clothes as his lawn gnome costume.

"I can't believe you came back," Heinz's mother said. She sounded displeased, like she had been wanting her child to die at the mercy of wild animals.

That was it. No welcome home. No hugs and kisses. Heinz hadn't expected those, yet he couldn't help but be surprised at his mother's appearance. Her stomach was bulging slightly, and a hand was resting on the circular lump.

It was only later that night when Heinz found out that there would be a new baby girl on the way. He spent the rest of the night wondering about the new baby while posing as a lawn gnome. Would the baby be loved, or horribly abused? Would the baby be treated unfairly, like him? What would she look like?

He remembered his time with the ocelots, and he knew that sibling rivalry would be inevitable.

_But, I promise I'll protect you no matter what, _Heinz thought_._ _I won't let them hurt you like they hurt me. _

* * *

**A/N- Sorry for the short chapter. I was pressed for time and had to rush it a little. Plus I had major Writer's Block on this thing...**


	16. The Flyer

**A/N- I'm back! And I'm not dead! Sorry for the extremely late update! I blame Platyborg (Well, I have to blame somebody, don't I?).**

**Oh yeah. Loved Where's Perry Part 1! The number one thing I learned from the episode? You can get extra credit by being evil! I'm definitely keeping that in mind for high school. Besides, I'm obsessed with that ep now! **

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb. **

**Chapter 15- The Flyer**

* * *

Heinz kicked and yelled for help, finding himself once again stuck headfirst in a garbage can. The bully who had dunked him in there was long gone. Heinz coughed, someone's moldy sauerkraut sandwich had somehow speared itself on his long, pointy nose. If Heinz didn't faint from exhaustion first, then the smell of that horrid thing would be enough to make him pass out.

He felt somebody drop a piece of crumpled paper on his head. Luckily, Heinz had enough room to wriggle around so he could grab the paper and unfold it. The paper turned out to be a flyer for the Gimmelschtump Village Fair, which would begin in two days.

Heinz continued to read the flyer, eyes growing wider with every word.

** There will be food, games, rides, and MUCH MORE! **

** This once-every-five years event will be here for two weeks, so make sure you come because this will be the most fun you'll have in a long time! **

** Work is available for ages 5+. **

A brilliant idea had just formed in his head. What if he found a job at the carnival… and earned some money for it?

_No, _Heinz scolded himself for thinking that way. _I can't get my hopes too high._ _This is almost as ridiculous as the whole running away scheme I had a couple months ago. It's not going to make them love me. Or is it? _

* * *

Heinz was late, and he suffered the consequences almost immediately when he got home. His father gave him a toothbrush and ordered him to clean out the fireplace before Heinz could have any dinner. That was bad enough on its own, but then Mr. Doofenshmirtz took sadistic pleasure in burning Heinz's bottom with a red-hot poker whenever he wasn't working fast enough.

Two hours later, Heinz finished cleaning. "I'm done!" he called.

"About time!" his father growled. "Now wash that sorry face of yours and eat your supper!"

Heinz filled a bucket with water, and plunged his face into it (His mother wanted him to wash his face properly using a washcloth, but Heinz found his method faster and more effective.). He dried his head with the last clean towel in the house, and rapidly ate his dinner, which turned out to be a pitiful quantity of cold porridge.

_This is terrible, _Heinz thought, making a face. _I bet Only Son's dog food tastes better than this. Oh yeah, I'd better ask Mom and Dad if I can apply for a job at the fair. I'll do it tonight, when they're sitting in front of the fire._

* * *

"M-mom, D-dad, can I go to this fair?" Heinz gave them the crumpled flyer, nervously rocking back and forth on his feet.

"Humph, you have no time for fun and games," his mother huffed. "You've got school and chores. And given your performance on your last report card-" she left the sentence in mid-air.

"But I only failed Reading!" Heinz protested. "I got A's and B's in everything else!"

"I've had enough of your excuses," Heinz's father said, rising out of his chair. "Why God gave us a useless child, I have no idea."

Given his usual treatment, Heinz was surprised his father believed in God at all. "But I don't want to go to the fair because of the games. I want to go there so I can earn some money. It says ages five and up can work there."

"You can go, in that case," Heinz's mother didn't look up from her knitting. "Now go to bed."

Heinz obediently marched off to bed, surprised at how easily his mother had agreed. He covered himself with the thin blanket and laid his head against the hard brick that he used as a pillow. For the first time, no nightmares came his way.

"Why did you agree?" Mr. Doofenshmirtz asked in surprise. "The boy has got other, more important things to do."

"No, he's not going to the fair to enjoy himself," Mrs. Doofenshmirtz said. "He's going there to earn some money. I need some more cloth for these dresses. Any money he earns, he won't be keeping. We're the ones who can actually make good use of it."

"All right," Mr. Doofenshmirtz said. "But for this, not to mention the trouble he caused us earlier, he will definitely be on lawn-gnome duty for a few extra days. And that's just being nice."

* * *

**A/N- School is starting next week (First year of high school, WHOO!) so due to that, and marching band, I won't be updating very often. But I've got plans for this story, so watch out! **


	17. Getting Balloony

**A/N- Yeah, I'm just going to update on weekends now. I only have about an hour and a half of free time on weekdays now and most of that is probably going to be spent doing homework.**

**I do not own Phineas and Ferb. **

**Ch 16- Getting Balloony**

* * *

Getting a job was harder than Heinz originally thought. Every position at the fair was already filled up. But it wasn't his fault he got out of bed at ten in the morning. Only Son had been bothering Heinz all night, literally dragging Heinz out of bed every five minutes. It was only when Heinz's father had woken up early to go Goozim hunting did Only Son leave Heinz alone.

Heinz rubbed his eyes, tired. He wished he had some money, so that he could buy some food and maybe have a little fun. He wanted something he could call his own, like a stuffed animal or one of those silly carnival hats.

After stumbling around blindly through the fairgrounds for two hours, Heinz was about ready to give up when someone jumped in front of him. "Kid, you're perfect!" a man with a long, bushy mustache seized him by the arm and dragged him over to a stand labeled "Dunking Booth".

"Oh, this is great!" Heinz exclaimed. "You know, I've been looking for a job for hours now."

The man laughed. "I'm Vernon, by the way. What's your name, kid?"

"Heinz, Heinz Doofenshmirtz," Heinz said, warily.

Vernon looked at Heinz like the boy was a time bomb about to go off. "You're not the same kid who was whipped brutally in public a few months back, just because you were scared of heights, right?"

"That would be me," Heinz lowered his gaze, not sure if he could trust this strange man. Every single time he trusted someone, they always betrayed him. Heinz could tell there was going to be a 99.9% chance this man would do the same.

"Meh," Vernon shrugged. "You're not the first kid to be whipped in public, and you certainly won't be the last. Anyways, let's get down to business. How would you like to work here?"

"R-really?" Heinz sputtered. "Okay! When can I start?"

Vernon took out a pocketknife and grinned, trimming his mustache with the sharp blade. "Right now, kid."

* * *

Heinz began seeing stars as soon as he hit the backboard. Now that he thought about it, maybe he jumped at the chance of holding a job a little too rashly.

Apparently, Vernon had used large rubber balls before an arsonist had burned down Drusselstein's only rubber factory. Now, he used young boys so participants could throw them at the target and dunk another worker in an electric eel tank. At any rate, Heinz thought he had the better end of the deal.

"I really need to get myself some medical insurance," Oliver, the guy who got dunked, muttered. He was covered in burns and bite marks. "ARGH!" he screamed as the two eels shocked him for the billionth time. "No matter how many times you get electrocuted, you never can get used to it."

Heinz stifled a giggle, yelping when someone picked him up by the collar and got ready to throw him.

* * *

It was the end of the day, and Heinz was incredibly tired. On the bright side, he had a job. And as a bonus, he had gotten a balloon from a clown on a street corner. He sat in his room, carefully drawing a face on the balloon.

_I can't believe I'm getting attached to this thing, _Heinz thought. He pulled out a long-lasting spray from his desk drawer and sprayed Balloony (yes, he even named it) with the special liquid.

_It's missing something…. _Heinz examined the balloon, quickly scribbling his name on it. _That's better!_

"I think you and I are going to be best friends, Balloony!" Heinz hugged the balloon. It was nice to finally have a friend.

* * *

**A/N- Yay, Heinz finally has a friend (even if it is an inanimate object)! Oh, and about the whole job bit in this chapter, does anyone notice something missing there, which Heinz hasn't picked up on yet?**


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